It has been almost three months since I first stepped into this transitional season in my life. I have walked a few of these over the years. Each one has been unique and yet there has been a common thread of release, rest, reflection, recapturing a more complete sense of self, revisioning God, reorienting and getting ready for the next adventure.

Maybe it’s because I am just a tad older than I was the last time I entered this kind of season, but I have found this one to be sharply different in how each of those many “r’s” has played out. There is a distinct steadiness and deep rootedness, even in the low days when I briefly wonder if there is a “next”.

Today, as I sat on my kitchen floor playing with my dog and praying to my God (careful not to tongue-twist this one) I noted that I am far enough along in life to realize there are things I will not be doing. Choices have been made over the years that have carved a bit of a trajectory that make some things I might have once thought of doing no longer a consideration.

Not a rut; a trajectory. My life is far from over and there are still many things I haven’t done that I intend to have a go at. I am, after all, a bit of a connoisseur. I like to try a lot of things long enough to get rather good at them and not try to master only one or two. I live life like a banquet table not a restaurant menu.

Consider a tree, whose roots spread further underground as the years go by. There comes a time when the tree is not going to be movable and will simply work on becoming all that it was designed to be. It will, as it matures, branch out and there will be fairly predictable times of growth, fruit, blazes of glory, shedding and settling in for a quieter time. Through these repeated cycles it can be shaped in all kinds of ways, have some things grafted in, and other things pruned out. It will become a compelling presence if well cared for.

I am more than a tree but I think the imagery is a good starting place. There comes a time when it is good to embrace who we are, what we can and cannot offer, get rooted, build on strong foundations and reach for the stars, all within an increasingly defined, and hopefully also increasingly glorious, existence.

I am not all that I should be, nor am I all that I will be. Therein lies my solidarity with every other person and the world in which we live. Therein lies the room for further creativity and new adventures, yet also confident adherence to what has already been rightly established. Therein lies the opportunity to continue to live in the tension of unclear dreams and uncertain horizons while taking one step at a time on solid ground.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.” – Jeremiah 17:7-8